Miss Amiability
by uneven
Summary: Federal Agent Bella Swan goes under cover as a pageant contestant in order to prevent a terrorist attack. Canon pairings, AU AH OOC Rated M for lemons and Bella's potty mouth R
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is a kind of Miss Congeniality-esque story. It's a little difficult for me writing it but I am trying, and just so you know I have never watched Miss America but I a researching, this is my first fanfic but I'm trying hard. So encouragement will be appreciated.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight is obviously the property of Mrs Meyer, not me sadly.**

"Were you looking at her cans? You asshole." I asked Edward loudly in my fake New York accent we were in a pretty busy bar with about ten agents dotted around. I was wearing a golden tube top for the first time since I was about twelve and jeans which looked like they were painted on, I also had chicken fillets in my bra making me look really tacky as my boobs were already kind of big. Edward was wearing tight jeans and a Yankees shirt and cap (with a camera in it) we were trying to look like we'd just been at a game. I tried to convey with my eyes that the Italian guy had noticed him trying to look into his briefcase. He understood and nodded.

"Course not babe, I was checkin' out the football scores on the tv." He said it well trying deliberately to sound like he was lying. "Don't you lie to me you prick, you think those are real? Course they aint. 100% silicone, do you like fake boobs?"

I turned around and saw Irina looking at me, she shook her head to tell me she couldn't see anything either so Edward took off his cap and put it on the table, Mark my boss whispered in my ear "Now all we can see is your chest, Swan." I blushed "Sorry sir" I breathed back into the mic in my watch.

I picked up the hat and said "Stop touching that Anthony honestly you look like an Idiot" I placed it on the corner of the booth so the camera was looking over the next booths table, "Perfect Swan, we have a visual of the book we're moving in on 3,2,1..."

Edward and I stood up as did half the bar and everyone had guns pointing at the three well dressed business men at the table next to us. Mark and two other agents burst through the door, Mark shputed "FBI nobody move" but of course one of the men got out a gun and had it aimed at Edward, before I could even pull the trigger it had gone off with a noise like a bloody bomb exploding, I brought my hand forward and knocked the still warm gun out of his hand, I was breathing heavily and I couldn't bear to think Edward might not be alright, because if I did I would break down in tears I came out booth so I could get around to Edward, a rookie mistake. One of the men jumped onto my back and kneed me hard, knocking me to the ground and making me bash my head on the table, it hurt like a son of a bitch. I screamed and rolled trying to get him off of me before he was kicked off of me, I know because I felt the doc martin grazing along my back and giving me heat burn through my tube top. I could feel my own blood trailing from my hairline and I realised I was probably concussed but I had to get to Edward because I wouldn't be able to breathe until I knew he was safe.

I dragged myself along on my stomach until I got to wear Edward was lying holding his side. He was rolling from side to side which relieved me because if it was a vital organ or vein he'd already be unconscious. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, it fucking hurts." How manly Mr Cullen. I got to where he was and took hold of his arm which was over his shot, _that was weird. _There was no blood.

"Christ Edward you're wearing a vest, you pussy! Man up" Irina came over and got him into a sitting position and lifted his baseball shirt over his head and I used my hands to unbuckle his vest to see if his ribs were alright. Trying to ignore his _amazing_ six-pack and felt his ribs. "I'm dying, I'm dying. Will you fucking stop that Isabella." No one but the boss and my grandmother called me that and I pressed into his tender ribs extra hard. "Son of a bitch, _STOP IT!_" I smirked and that let some of my blood dribble into my mouth. "Oops sorry, You'll be bruised but you probably damaged your back more from falling."

Everyone was shouting and Annabelle and Laura came over to see if Edward was alright but Irina told them that my face was more pressing. I felt a liquid at the top of my jeans trickle down my backside and realised the dull pulsing was in fact not from the bastard kneeing me but something much more serious. "Oh shit, the cunt I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding." My eyes were frantic as I shouted in Laura's face. "We can see that gorgeous." Edward said breathlessly but cockily.

I moved my hand to my back and started to feel around for the root of the wetness. Someone shouted behind "Jesus Christ, Swan. Someone's got your back. Girls help her." My shaky hands found the deep gash in my back and the night's drama caught up with me as I felt Edwards arms wrap around me to touch my back and I lost consciousness.

**AN: God sends reviewers to heaven. I know I wouldn't want to go to hell over something silly. **

**There will be lemons later but the plot is kind of fluffy, I realise it won't be great but no one starts out writing masterpieces so I appreciate any kind of criticism even though the negative stuff makes me cry sometimes, I'll persevere and start writing better fics eventually. Also I would really appreciate you telling me what female character you'd like to represent which state, I'll have to make a few up but it would be really useful. Thanks for reading. **


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: All my knowledge of the FBI comes from watching bones with my friend Mark, and we spend most of the time drooling over Booth, I still see him as angel and he's just so handsome, I'm researching the FBI, beauty pageants and a whole lot of other stuff to make this story work but it really won't be very good or accurate.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything okay?**

* * *

**Bpov**

I don't know when I regained my consciousness, I eventually realized I was lying on something stiff with aching muscles and that I had most likely been asleep for hours. I thought maybe I was in my bed but I didn't remember lying down, I didn't really remember what the last thing I did was. There were things poking into me at different places; my hand, my nose, my neck and it felt like my cheek bone and the bone beside my eye were pulsing but I could only feel a sort of detached pain, everything was a little numb. There was a warm dead weight in my hand and someone was snoring heavily in my ear. I was feeling a little disoriented so I matched my breathing to this persons and lost consciousness once more.

* * *

I drifted in and out of sleep, not staying awake long enough to think of anything but my immediate surroundings and not sleeping long enough to dream. I was on the cusp of being awake when I heard someone talking in hushed whispers. I could hear a repetitive beep and distant noise but that was a very gentle roar, I tried to concentrate to hear what the person was saying but it took me sometime to really grasp the words as I realized the voice was very familiar. It was Edward, he was hear so obviously we were somewhere safe, I felt much more reassured knowing Edward was here even if he wasn't frozen in this position the way I was. I needed to concentrate or I would miss everything he said.

"Well, the Doctors have said it if it had been a little higher it would have hit an artery and if you tried it on anyone there would only be a one in one hundred thousand chance of missing all the vitals he did but Bella was extremely lucky." Edward said in a voice so low I almost couldn't hear him, there was a murmur in response from who ever he was talking to.

"Well" he said after a couple of seconds, "She'd be awake by the time you got here and you know she would be furious but it wouldn't be a bad idea. She'll be on bed rest until the end of the month and the bureau have said they want her to start working again in March, even if you could get a little time off you know she'd love to see you." There was another buzzy response from the other person and then the door opened and someone with heavy footsteps came in.

"Edward, go and get something to eat... oh, sorry. You're on the phone, who are you talking to?" the person was a man with a deep voice and he was much too loud I thought my sensitive eardrums might burst.

"Shut up, it's your dad." There was a pause. "Okay sir, Emmett's here and he would like to talk to you." Emmett, my obnoxious but rather lovable big brother, he was very talented at causing awkward social faux pas's. I vaguely remembered speaking to Emmett about Edward's camera before we entered a sleazy looking bar. Then I remembered the rather average bust, except Edward had been shot. Now my heart was racing, but he was fine. My back was bleeding and I had hit my face. "Someone's got your back Swan some one had shouted. Then I fainted in Edward's arms. Now everything Edward had said to my dad made sense, he was coming to visit. That wasn't necessary and my Mom had probably shit a chicken and would insist I quit and get a conventional job for a twenty-two year old woman.

Slowly I opened my eyes and tried to raise my hand to shield me from the too bright light, but it was stuck so I had to drag it up which someone noticed because before I knew it something was blocking my light and blowing warm air in my face. Edward

"Stop fucking with your IVs you moron. God, I love you so so so much. Don't ever worry me like that again."

* * *

**AN: There you go chapter two, I was actually going to jump straight ahead to her recovery but I thought I needed to do this even though it's extra boring. Please tell me which characters you would like to represent which state, because I am compiling a list for my own sanity. Without it one character might represent three different states. Review please, because it will get better.**

**Rachel**

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**This isn't a chapter because so far nobody has said which characters they want to represent which state, I'm going to show you my list but understand I'm not giving away which states I want to go with which girl, but I have made a fair bit of progress**

* * *

Angela

Athenodora (I'm using the wives as a last resort, I most likely will not involve any of them in the story)

Bree

Carmen

Charlotte

Chelsea

Claire

Didyme

Elizabeth

Emily

Gianna

Heidi

Jane

Jessica

Kachiri (I expect the amazon sisters will be hard to fit in)

Kaheleha

Kate

Kebi

Kim

Lauren

Leah

Maggie

Makenna

Maria

Mary

Nancy (this was in the list of twilight names, I don't remember if there was any Nancy's in the story, well except for Jacob of course ;0)

Rachel

Rebecca

Renata

Senna

Siobhan

Sue

Tia

Zafrina

* * *

**AN: I am really sorry about this chapter but I think I will be putting up another chapter by tonight and another tomorrow, I have almost finished my Epov chapter but it skips ahead about a week in the story, thank you if you persevered I will try and update every day this week but please do review. And please it won't offend me if you think I should stop writing this story, in my head I see it getting really amazing but only one person has said they like it I have a good few other stories in my head including one which is completely different to this, but I do love a happy ending so that's kind of where all of my stories end. Please review and I won't piss you off by doing a chapter like this again. Rachel xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: So I haven't updated but I have a really good reason. My mum's been in hospital for about a week with a kidney infection but on tuesday they decided that she most likely had Breast Cancer so we were all very worried and I was back at my mum and dad's because I had to take care of my little brother and sister while my dad was working and yesterday they after more tests they've announced she doesn't have breast cancer but has this weird virus that won't go away because she's anaemic so she's out of hospital cancer free and back at home so I've just been back to my flat for the first time in nearly a week and Mark sweetheart that he is has cleaned it and that's saying a lot because he is a slob. I love him to bits and he is the best shoulder to cry on ever. It's because of Mark that all my friends are really gorgeous gay guys and I have about three close girl friends. I need to make this short because my boyfriend's taking me out because I've had a stressful week and I need to get ready. I'm going to Portugal with six gorgeous men next week and I feel very blessed but I won't be updating after next friday. I'll try to cram in as many updates as possible in between work and packing and family life. It's times like this I'm so glad I work in topshop because I get a discount and I get to hide the rare stuff I really want. It's amazing for holidays. **

I'm going to do three more chapters of this story and but I don't think it's very good so I may stop. I really need people to review and tell me what they think because I'm not getting many ideas or much motivation for it. I know I haven't given you very much but I need some feedback. I need to go now because I did this before calling my boss and I think I may no longer have a job, thanks if you read this,

Rachel xx


End file.
